I have been suffering for I don’t know how many months or years now. All these time, I know there was something wrong but I can’t seem to find the time to see it nor gain the strength to confront it. I was blinded, I was deceived. Little did I know that I was slowly getting colder with my relationship with God, it was not that intimate anymore. I was distracted by a lot of things, I was overwhelmed with everything. He became the option and not my number one priority. I failed to guard my heart from things that could contaminate it. I lost my passion for lost souls. I lost my compassion to sinners like me who does not have a relationship with God yet. I became wicked and became unintentional to the lives of others–far from the purpose that God has given me. I became selfish and greedy. I forgot that I was only saved by the grace of God, and I am chosen and called by God to be His instrument in making a difference, a positive impact to the lives of other people, to help the lost find their way back to the Father. I was deceived and got distracted from what I was supposed to be doing. Despite the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord in my life, these were the things I was doing. I was deceived..
Then something happened today, November 13, 2023, the Lord opened by eyes again, He made me see the things I failed to see these past months and years. He redirect my path and showed me the way I was meant journeying to. I realized how I failed Him, how wrong I was these whole time, I’ve seen how deceived I am, I’ve realized how I messed up guarding my heart. He showed me my mistakes, my failures, my sins without condemnation. He is truly a merciful and loving Father.
Lord, give me a new heart, a heart that chooses you everyday, a heart that loves You with all, a heart that only beats for You. Bring me a new heart, a heart that nothing else matters but You alone.
Writings of Red 